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Post by * JESSICA ANNE REXING. on Jan 3, 2010 12:12:04 GMT -5
NO technology was allowed in the dorms. That was the stupidest rule. As much as Jess hated to admit it, it made sense when it came to phone calls, and the internet. However, no i-pods? They were trying to torture her slowly. She knew it. They banned phones because they didn't want anyone to form escape plans or let the outside world know about the asylum's aweful deeds. The computers were probably banned because it would corrupt their patients even more with all of the sites that it provided. How was Jess supposed to check her facebook now though? There were probably tons of notifications and comments that she didn't want to see, but still. The rec. room did have some technology in it though. However, she didn't really want to go there. Besides, she already smothered her i-pod into her room, which had wi-fi connection, so she was set.
THE security wasn't as great here as she thought it would be. When she was told she was going to an asylum, Jess freaked. What else was she supposed to do? Accept it all peachy keen? She didn't know anyone there, and she knew she didn't trust anyone there, so it was just asking her to go even more crazy than she already was. And she wasn't crazy. Next thing she knew, she was shoved into a basement and locked up. They tested her; they planned to hurt her. She knew it. However, she also knew how to get out of her room without being detected. Nobody was really good at keeping them locked up. In the six or so months she's been at Alkaline, she's escaped from her room many a times. She's considered just walking off campus, but knew better than that. That was what they were expecting her to do, just so they have reason to snatch her, shoot her with darts, carry her back into the basement, strap her to a chair and hurt her. She knew it.
IT was nearing eleven o'clock. They checked in on her at eleven, and then again at three, and then they woke her up... Well, she didn't really know. She had to hide her i-pod and couldn't use it to see the time. However, there were certain parts of the room that weren't monitored. They had to provide some privacy, right? Anyway, the clock ticked eleven and there was that prompt knock on the door. She peeked through her little peephole to make sure that they weren't carrying anything to harm her, and then she cracked the door open. First they checked her room, then they checked her to her reluctance, and then they scolded her for not being in bed yet. Wake up call was tomorrow, she had time.
ONCE they left, she waited a little longer then slipped out of her room like a master spy would. Miss 007 came out of room 007. Wasn't that just a large coincidence? It didn't take her long to get to the roof, it just took a lot of stealthiness to avoid the security cameras which was the only reason it took as long as it did.
WITH her earbuds in, she listened to some of her favourite songs, bobbing her head and half dancing in the goofing off sort of way once she reached the roof. Then she slowed down the tempo a little bit. Sitting down a few feet from the edge of the roof, she leaned back and just looked at the stars. She loved watching the stars. Nighttime was Jessica's favourite part of the day. At night, everything was calm and beautiful, and cool. She loved it.
tags: open.
notes: none?
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Post by anne on Jan 15, 2010 0:27:19 GMT -5
 » I'M SO SICK !!INFECTED WITH WHERE I LIVE LET ME LIVE WITHOUT THIS EMPTY BLISS
She always wondered what it would feel like to fly. To soar for those first few seconds before your life flashed before our eyes and you were either crippled or dead on impact. Christa had been sitting on her bed for a few hours now, thinking on what it would feel like to just run up to the roof and jump. To simply jump and feel the wind through her hair and the peace that she knew death would offer her in the end. She'd been at this train of though for so long her eyes had already adjusted to the dim light of her room. The room she currently shared with no one.
There was a time she used to have a roomie here, in the ward. But supposedly the girl had gotten better and had been set free. Funny thing was, the girl really was not better on the contrary they had royally screwed her up so bad the minute she got home she not only murdered her step mom but she'd also succeeded where Christa had failed so many time before, she actually killed herself and as lying in some morgue somewhere probably getting the body ready for the funeral she had heard of but would not be allowed to attend. After all they had some freedoms but leaving the facility as not one of them.
Pushing herself off the bed she looked over to the other bed in the room and shrugged. She envied the girl that used to be there so the slight growl when she looked was unmistakable. Stretching slightly she made her way to the door and paused, she wanted to make sure that no guards where around before making a run for the roof. Sure, it was carefully watched during the day but at night,s he doubted she'd find anyone there. Twisting the knob she heard the slight click and paused briefly, once more making sure that she wasn't heard before opening the door and pulling it shut behind her.
Her bare feet felt cold as she hurried down the hallway towards the stairs. She was no longer allowed socks after her last hanging attempt so bare feet would have to do. Another soft click and pause and she was heading up the stairs, through another small door and the the final little riquety ladder. The cool night air hit her like a ton of bricks and she cursed herself slightly for not having brought a coat, then again she was going to jump and the coat could give her fall some cushion so it was best she not have it. She sighed, watching the air escape her lungs and smiled. Finally...she thought as though it would be a relief to be able to get it over with. In a sense she felt free, as free as a bird and she even dared to smile just a bit.
taking a few slow steps, in order to savor the moment she paused when she say a girl standing, or rather sitting between her and her path to freedom. Tilting her head to the side she watched her momentarily. For the life of her Christa could not recall having seen this particular patient before. "You're blocking my way." she said, more so to herself than the girl before cautiously getting a little closer and waving her hand. With an arched brow she awaited for a reaction or any sign that the girl had heard her or would move from her spot.
[outfit !]PJ's
[status !]DONE! (( hope you don't mind))
[word count !] 583
[tag !] Jessica Anne Rexing
[credit !] ALYSSA on caution 2.0!
[notes !] your characters talking", "talking male that IS NOT your character", "female talking this IS NOT your character |
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Post by * JESSICA ANNE REXING. on Jan 15, 2010 16:37:31 GMT -5
SOMETHING wasn't right anymore. It was so calm and peaceful, but then something just set her off. Jessica was paranoid, so it wasn't difficult to get her cautious. However, that caution became agressive if given ample time. She checked her i-pod for the time. 11:43 PM. Something about that time rang a bell which just made her tense and angry. Then she figured it out.
SEE, the thing with Jess was, that she remembered quite a bit of information - usually the useless stuff. This was because that useless bit of information was infact very useful to her. She didn't trust long enough to get the really good details. In fact, she normally only held a conversation to the point where she got just the bare minimum. This bare minimum proved to be very vague, but it was very useful. It gave her leverage to get payback right when she needed it - before she was hurt. She usually got payback using pyschological things if she could think of them; if not, then she'd just get violent. Part of the reason she would be placed in a level three section of the ward. However, she wasn't section three; she was section four. Level Four for the most intriguingly troubled souls. The only reason she was there was because of something that happened to her at 11:43 PM not too long ago.
HER boyfriend had been a little obsessed, even after their breakup. He would stalk her, send her messages, and pull her into empty rooms and try to get some. She'd always push him away and run. Afraid to tell authority figures for fear that they'd think she was overreacting or better yet, making it up out of denial. 'Ohh, he's not over me, he still wants me, we're perfect.' That kind of denial. Jess didn't think such things beyond the 'he wants me' piece. At 11:43 PM one night at a party, he took her. Not really kidnapped. She was open to communicating, but instead he raped her. Even after that he wouldn't let her go. Started threats, and used things that she told him against her; scary shit. So with that, she became slightly paranoid, which grew as the troubles with her ex progressed into terrors.
NOW this was were Jess would get aggresive and violent. She'd try to protect herself. At the seame time though, that's where she got stupid. She wouldn't tell anyone about it, and when she did, her ex (who was adored by her parents) was denying everything. Thus resulting in her ending up at Alkaline. It was a lovely story of flowers and butterflies. She wished.
THERE were footsteps. Jess tried to stay still, blend it. She wasn't scared; she was coming up with a plan. Instead, she got a voice. A female voice it seemed - unless some guy had a freakishly femine voice (which was very possible). As she turned around she was a girl, probably barely younger than her.
THE girl was going to jump. It was apparent. After all, what would be the point of telling Jessica that she was in her way. Jess was there first, meaning that she had no reason to move. The girl who just arrived could go around her. There were at least four sides to the building, surely one would make for a better diving board to a dark fate. Rather than trying to stop the girl, she figured something out. This girl wanted attention. She wanted Jessica to stop her, tell her not to do it. Tell her that nothing was worth the trouble. Clearly something was. Besides, if J. Rex went through all of that trouble, then the girl would learn something about her and use that against her. Meaning, that Jess should infact stop the girl, to learn something about her, so that Jess has her own diving board - a height to push this girl off of before she could do such things to her.
OR maybe... "There are more sides of the building, take your pick." Maybe Jess would just let her do her own damage and lift the pressure for once.
tags: christianne
notes: sorry for the somewhat rambling? i tend to do that...
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Post by anne on Jan 16, 2010 15:57:18 GMT -5
» I'M SO SICK !!INFECTED WITH WHERE I LIVE LET ME LIVE WITHOUT THIS EMPTY BLISS
Feeling very much like a cartoon character she struck an annoyed pose as though her perfect plan had been spoiled by the girl just being there. Her swan dive intercepted as many of her attempts from before. A few where by her father,others but the doctors and now this girl was right there between her and her salvation. Christa had waved her hand close, but not to close to the girl doing her best to get her attention. She didn't even think that she could be one of the level four crazies, but then again in her mind the crazies couldn't possibly look like everyone else now could they.
If patience was a virtue then it was a good thing Christa was not virtuous int he least. Her eyes continued to look at the girl,minding her business listening to music. She could almost hear the beats coming from the ear buds she wore. Easily distracted by the thumping for a moment before she spoke... "There are more sides of the building, take your pick." gently she folded her arms over her chest and considered her words. True, there were more sides to the building but she always imagined her end to be with a big bang and she had decided that in order to do so, like her mother before her, the front of the building would have to do.
"I am aware that there are four sides to the building... but, that's the front and that's where I want to be found. I mean what's the sense of ending it if no one will see the impact made..." her voice was soft part of her words where for the girl while another part was just her train of thought. In her mind she could see the movement of her clothes and the way the stone would shatter her every bone on impact. She knew she would feel a complete sense of peace in those final seconds and she would smile.
Peace, it was something that eluded the poor girl. She never truly found peace. Not when she was listening to music, not while she slept and certainly not while she lived. Hence why she wanted to die, she figured if mother could do it why couldn't she. But the doctors kept telling her that she had reasons to live and go on with this life. As if it were their choice, they locked her up and kept a careful eye on her. Her mother had succeeded, her former roomie had succeeded and yet she continued to fail. Looking back up to the girl and then letting her eyes land on the edge she smirked and walked closer.
Christa could feel the breeze hit her, making slight goosebumps appear on her skin. She placed her small hands on the ledge and looked down, "I wonder if I would die from the fall..." she muttered not really thinking the building would be tall enough to kill her. After all she wanted to die, not cripple herself, That simply would not do.
[outfit !]PJ's
[status !]DONE! Sorry for the short...
[word count !] 511
[tag !] Jessica Anne Rexing
[credit !] ALYSSA on caution 2.0!
[notes !] your characters talking", "male ", "female |
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Post by * JESSICA ANNE REXING. on Jan 16, 2010 22:11:57 GMT -5
WAS it a sin to let someone end their own life? Not that Jess really went to church anymore. That ended many years ago. Her parents kind of just gave it up. They went through the trouble to get her confirmed, but didn't even bother to take her to church - not that Jess was ever willing to do so. Wasn't it the same as murder? Letting someone end their own life? After all, it was a personal choice which was something God supported. Right? Jessica really didn't know the answer. However, it wouldn't be murder because Jessica didn't take the life, she let somebody else do it. So technically the other person would be murdering themselves, right? It made sense. Besides, as long as Jess wasn't tested to see what allowed her to let this girl do such a thing, she was fine with it. Terrible, huh? But that just meant one less soul to worry about.
THAT was pretty stupid reasoning if Jessica were to put her two cents in. Which she was. It was what she did. "If you ask me, that's a pretty crappy thought process. You'll be dead. Nobody will care what the shit of your life was, they'd just know that you were a sad soul that had nothing else to do with yourself. Besides. You'll be dead. It's not like you'd be able to see their reaction." It was a miracle that Rex could hear the girl's soft words. "Besides, it doesn't matter where they'd find you. First they'd think you went missing, then the staff'll do a search and feel 'so guilty' that they couldn't stop you taking a leap of faith. If you're so intent on an impact, make them squirm. Let rumours fly before it all happened... and in the end, the staff will have one less crazy to take care of, you'll get your glory, your 'peace', your gossip, whatever the hell it is you want, and everyone'll win." It probably wasn't wise to tell someone that nobody would care. If Jessica was in her right mind and not paranoid of every person, then she probably would try to stop the girl. But she wasn't. "After all, isn't that what you want?"
NOW, Jessica could tell the girl that the fall probably wouldn't kill her, but then she could also tell her it could. It probably wouldn't however. It'd probably just be enough for her to get herself into a full body cast, paralyzed, or something of the sort. Maybe if she did a nose dive and landed on her head the proper way it could happen. But maybe not.
THE fact that Jessica could hear this girl loud and clear was shocking to say the least. The girl probably didn't expect much talking out of Jess. In fact, Jess didn't expect much talking out of Jess. She was hoping that she could get away with pushing the girl off the edge, being noted that she did the girl a favour, and then not have to suffer any more talk about the girl deciding what would be the best way to die. Then if the girl didn't die, then she'd have one more person after her. She's never really resorted to murde though, just a good hard beating at most. It was pretty sad, all of it.
"I'MA take a guess here and say no," she told her. "Unless you land on your head. Then by all means, suite yourself. Over rotate it just a tad and you're stuck being paralyzed and having no way of fulfilling your dream of death. You'd just be stuck dying like everyone else... after years of sitting in a bed growing old feeling like a bum 'cause you have nothing to do and no means of doing it." Perhaps it was crueler to let the girl live. A quick, less violent (which was the first time Jessica's done such a thing in a very long time) means of protecting herself. Normally people would try to get to her, so Jess got to them first. Beat them to the punch. This seemed like the perfect way.
tags: christianne
notes: wow, jess is kinda twisted... it's kinda scary.
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Post by anne on Jan 21, 2010 13:21:57 GMT -5
» I'M SO SICK !!INFECTED WITH WHERE I LIVE LET ME LIVE WITHOUT THIS EMPTY BLISS
She had given the girl a thoughtful glance before she'd even begun to speak. After all why should she care about what the girl said or didn't say. She was a stranger, a nobody in her life and by the looks of her someone she really shouldn't be talking to. After all who spends their nights on the edge of a building alone. "If you ask me, that's a pretty crappy thought process. You'll be dead. Nobody will care what the shit of your life was, they'd just know that you were a sad soul that had nothing else to do with yourself. Besides. You'll be dead. It's not like you'd be able to see their reaction."
Biting her lip she thought over her words. "How would you know..." the words escaped her without Christa so much as realizing she had said them aloud. Though the girl was right, she did have a rather disturbed thought process but it was one she had grown accustomed to and one that would not be changing anytime in the near future. That is if she even had a future. The girl spoke once more, Christa barely listening to her but catching a few choice phrases like... "it doesn't matter... leap of faith... one less crazy..."
"I am not... crazy..." was her reply to the awfully long rant she had just partially chosen to hear. It did matter to her, maybe not to the staff or the rest of this god forsaken place, but to Christa her death mattered more than anything in the world. It was the one thing she thought she could control, decide and beat. She could chose her moment in the spot light and be happy when it was done. She seemed to be a walking contradiction at times, wanting everyone's attention and then not caring when they acknowledged her god given presence.
She continued to look down the side of the building. her hands feeling the rough texture of it and grabbing on as hard as she was able to. "After all, isn't that what you want?" Slowly she shook her head no as her eyes continued to look down. It wasn't what she had meant, she had not meant that it wasn't what she wanted, she had meant that the fall wouldn't kill her and that was the goal, was it not? To beat death at it's own game like her mother before her had done and she had tried countless times after?
A soft breeze began to blow around her. Her hair moving about her face, it was far more quiet than what she had remembered, then again the girl had finally stopped talking. Shrugging her shoulders though she took a step back as though defeated by circumstance yet again. "Why are you up here..." she added as an after thought, the question was meant more for herself than for the girl, so Christianne really would not expect an answer.
[outfit !]PJ's
[status !]DONE! Sorry for the lateness, Jack wouldn't let me post.
[word count !] many
[tag !] Jessica Anne Rexing
[credit !] ALYSSA on caution 2.0!
[notes !] your characters talking", "male ", "female |
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Post by * JESSICA ANNE REXING. on Jan 21, 2010 14:11:59 GMT -5
SO she wasn't crazy? Well, to Jessica, jumping off the edge of a building seemed pretty crazy - if she were to say so. Which she wasn't because she had already spoken enough for her own good. However, the girl must've been crazy in order to end up here. Everyone was entitled to their own opinion. If they wanted to end their life by jumping off a building, then Jess would clear the path... if she wasn't there first like she was in this case. It was clear to Jessica though. This girl was a level two at least - for trying to put harm to her own person. The girl definately wasn't a level four though, so she was either level three or level two. Two's generally weren't that crazy, but still, crazy enough. One's could be considered crazy on occasion as well - most were in denial. Denial wasn't that bad, but it was a little bit, because they were constantly lying to themselves, and it just wasn't 'normal'. Then again normal to the outside world wasn't quite normal to the people on the inside.
SO maybe their were normal in their own minds, but still, they were crazy as much as they hated to admit it. Were they not? Perhaps. Were they in Jess's mind? Yup. And here was the girl denying it. It wasn't smart to argue with Jess, but she was so surprisingly calm (and finding it entertaining to verbally 'attack' this girl) that she didn't care. "Think what you like," she said, her words empty, "but crazy or not, you're here. The best they'll do is call whoever's problem you are and get rid of you as quick as possible." The girl wasn't paying Jessica much mind, and honestly, Jessica didn't care. As much as it'd be nice to get a reaction, she knew that she wouldn't really get one. Even if she were to get one, this girl was small. Rex could take her down.
AND Jesse also knew something. She knew that though the girl may not think she knew what the level four was saying, but she would. Right before she died and her life flashed before her eyes, the words would echoe. As much as the suicidal girl would like to believe that Jessica was wrong, she knew she was right. Jesse just knew that she was right and that the girl was hating it. Especially since for the moment Jesse had talked her out of jumping at least for a few moments. "You don't really care what I'm doing up here," she told her. This was the part where Jesse could go on for yet another long rant, and she was debating doing so. She thought against it. She figured if the girl wanted one thing before she jumped, she'd want Jess to shut up.
tags: christa.
notes: none.
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Post by anne on Feb 1, 2010 14:01:00 GMT -5
» I'M SO SICK !!INFECTED WITH WHERE I LIVE LET ME LIVE WITHOUT THIS EMPTY BLISS
The gentle breeze made the girls hair sway slightly. It would almost seem romantic if not for her earlier purpose and the company she kept. Taking a step back from the edge she shrugged her shoulders. "Not high enough..." she muttered looking around to see if there was maybe a place or a higher ledge she could climb up to. To help with her situation. The girl still remained there, all but forgotten as her opinion seeped through Christa's mind. She didn't like her tone, nor the sound of her voice. As if her reasoning where way off base.
"Think what you like, but crazy or not, you're here. The best they'll do is call whoever's problem you are and get rid of you as quick as possible." She bit her lip, even though her mind was wondering she heard the girls worlds loud and clear. Whoever's problem she was... Her father, even she doubted he cared, she was the states problem now. As the though popped up the girl visibly cringed. It was a small reaction but a real one at least. Murdered, no... she didn't want to be murdered. She had no say if it came down to that.
"I rather be sedated..." she said as though quoting something she had heard before. "You don't really care what I'm doing up here," To that she actually nodded slightly as she continued to picture herself being murdered. She didn't like that, she wanted to be able to choose the when, where and how not for someone else to have allthe power over her. No, if there was one way she would not go it would be murdered. "You're right, i don't care what your doing up here... but I am no ones problem but my own." she added with a bit of a biting tone at the end. Still unaware that she spoke to a level four.
Truth be told she hardly knew any of the other kids in the asylum.Not since her roommate had left the building so to speak. She avoided the level ones with their woe is me attitude. Level threes were usually surrounded by guards she she didn't have to go near them. As for level fours, she doubted she had ever met one. She in her mind this girl was not registering as a threat but rather a nuisance, just like her conscious teds to be.
[outfit !]PJ's
[status !]DONE! Sorry for the lateness, Jack wouldn't let me post.
[word count !] many
[tag !] Jessica Anne Rexing
[credit !] ALYSSA on caution 2.0!
[notes !] your characters talking", "male ", "female |
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Post by * JESSICA ANNE REXING. on Feb 1, 2010 16:18:03 GMT -5
TERRIBLE as it was, Jessica couldn't hold back. When she saw the girl cringe it was almost as good as watching her get taken down. Jesse couldn't help but smirk a little. It wasn't like her to mess with patients. She wasn't the type that would sit around waiting for some unsuspecting person to fall into her grasp while she tortures them with words. That wasn't what she normally did. Normally, she would talk to them as if she was perfectly fine and then when they were least expecting it, she would pin the against the wall or something and give it to 'em straight. Then at that point she'd probably have gotten the attention of a staff member, thus resulting in her throwing a punch or two and then taking off... then getting sedated once the authorities managed to catch up to her.
NO, this wasn't going to be one of those times. This was different. Even if she did end up banging up the girl a little, it was night, and probably wouldn't result in Jessica being sedated. It was a little too late for that. Jesse found it sort of funny how she rarely landed in detention. It seemed like with her unless she was sneaking out or something, she was sedated. Perhaps they thought she wasn't worth the trouble. For Jesse though, this girl would be worth the trouble.
WITH the way that this girl said sedated it sounded like she didn't know what it was like to have that drug injected into her system - at least, not like Jess did. One would think that with Jesse's burning hatred for the method of 'calming her down', she would've learned by now not to do anything worthy of it. However, that wasn't the case. She was defending herself, which was why she often fought the doctors and security guards who were trying to hold her down. Before she thought twice about her words she retorted, "and you would know exactly how pleasant that is, why?" Now, that could've been recieved two ways. One: 'I would know, I've been sedated before'. This would let down her guard and show that she has flaws and can be vulnerable. Or two: it couldn't be recieved as anything but Jess prying, which she figured was the better option. However, it also revealed something about this girl. She didn't want to die, at least not at anyone elses hands.
JESSICA was right, as per usual. Of course the girl didn't care. If she was about to fling herself off of a building, what would she care about to make her stop? "Really?" Jessica questioned. "You're definately proving to be a problem for the administrators here. First they have to save you from trying to kill yourself. Then you explain countless times how it's what you want and they should respect that. All the while you keep putting it off, what you really wanted to do. There's a reason that you never succeeding in killing yourself." Jessica would let the girl do what she wanted with that thought. It wasn't like she knew where she was going to take that, or whether she was actually accurate. Still, if the girl had done tried before she'd clearly not been successful. Jesse kind of wanted to see a nerve get touched, just so she'd have more of a motive than what the staff was used to. Nobody understood where Jess was coming from, but Jess. Perhaps it was the same with this girl, and both were just looking for reasons, for answers.
tags: christianne.
notes: tsalright.
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