Post by taffy97 on Jan 3, 2010 1:14:51 GMT -5
BROOKELLE RAE SANDFORD.
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* FEELS JUST LIKE WE'RE LOSING CONTROL.
and if you let go, then i'll let go tonight.[/center]
TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF.
" why am i doing this again ? you know what , nevermind . i'll just do it , kay ? now that i'm 'cooperating' can i have my meds again ? welll , my name's brookelle rae sandford but i go by brookelle , brooke , bee , elle , ellie , rookie , and rae . if you call me anything else besides those , well , hah , i'm in a mental institution , just don't piss me off , and we can be cool . you've probably heard , i'm eighteen , turning nineteen on February 9th , so keep that in mind . i'm straightedge and for some reason , i attract more girls then guys , which isn't necessarily a good thing . i'm all girl and i have proof if you're interested . alot of people tell me i look like valerie poxleitner but i really don't , they're just so hyped up on meds in this place they don't realize the difference between a dog and a weasel . i haven't really had much education , but call me retarted and i'll kick your ass . i was always skipping class and smoking as a kid , so i wasn't in class much . therefore learning wasn't really a big deal . sure , i'd secretly always hoped for more as a kid . i wanted to be a vet when i was little , but so much for that . there's just not enough time when your that age . and trouble has a calling that seems to last an eternity . but basically , i'm not much . just a brown haired girl maybe a little underweight but i'm not complaining , i eat and eat and eat and i keep it down , i'm not here for bulemia , or anorexia or anything , i'm just thin because i must have a high metabolism or something . i have dark circles around my eyes , a few bags , from lack of sleep ... and my meds , but that's ok . not really . so , is that it , we done here ? "
TELL US ABOUT YOUR MEDICAL HISTORY.
[/size][/font]"well , the agency insisted they checked me in for violent illusions where i harmed myself and others , a med addiction , and tempermental issues . but , i don't really see any of those . sure , i've gotten in quite alot of fights , but i've only started like three , and had good reasons . like , one i started with this complete stranger , just this guy that was sitting there staring at me . he didn't speak , nor move , just this shadow that sat and stared with his coal-black eyes . scared the shit out of me , i didn't even know how he got in my room but i came up and punched him and he hit me back , and threw me on the ground . then , he was gone . the agency said that was the 'violent illusions' part because i saw people that weren't there , and they hurt me , but really it was just me hurting myself . or i'd see someone as somebody else , like my teacher as my mom or something , and they said some of them were quite disturbing so i'd end up like stabbing them , or burning them or something when they were just innocent people . i don't understand how that can be , like , wouldn't i know ? the med addiction , hah . anything really . i'm a pill-popper , and i'll admit , i have an addiction . but it's really not that bad . pills make you get better , right ? that's why they have to fucking watch me dry swallow pills in the institution , because they're scared i'll overdose . but they're part of me now , and i need them ! apparently i need more then the average person anyways , right ? i'm fucked up , now medicate me ! mmm , the tempremental problem . it's not that bad , alot of people have called me bipolar before because i go from being totally normal to choking you agaist the wall . i can't help it , i snap easily , i guess i just violently solve my problems so they figured it was a bad thing . back in the orphanage i was the oldest , and all the kids feared me already , so i'd just be as sweet as possible . just like in the wild , if one of the other wolves in the pack can defeat the omega , then they get leader spot . if one of the younger kids tried to beat me down and take my position from me , i'd kick their ass . but that's just like politics , right ? like , once again , it's all-around made me a better person . it's helped me learn . so , why am i here again ? "
HOW CAN WE ACCOMODATE YOU BETTER?
[/size][/font]" well , i hate when people ask us to describe ourselves . really ? how vain is that ? most people that describe themselves either lie to make themselves look better , lie to make people feel bad for them , or just don't know what they are , if you're stil finding yourself , there's not much you can do . i suppose i'll just use the definition most people describe me as . well , obviously i have a temper problem . i can be really sweet , but don't fuck with me cause i can snap in a second . but if you don't push me , i won't push you . i do admit though , i don't get along with other people that throw temper tantrums because i push buttons alot , i'm bold so i'll point out what i think of you , and i usually will just physically attack anyone who tries to pick a verbal fight with me , to be quite honest . alot of people have commented on how scary i am to be with, because one thing could set me off . but so far , no one's been able to calm me down , i'm like a rabid dog , once i attack you just have to wait till i'm done , or beat me out of it , because there's no way you saying 'stop' will make me give up . but if i find an attachment with you , and i can't live without you in my life , which i rarely find that happening , i'll hold you close , and if i'm in a temper tantrum, i'll most likely not talk to you , so don't try to hold me close and tell me everything's alright or you might suffer head trauma , just let me go , and hope everything will be fine . i do , in fact have a heart , i just very rarely open it to others because i know there's a possibility i could have illusions , or just snap and hurt them , because in the past that's happened quite a bit . i obviously don't trust myself . i'm sarcastic also , i can be fairley laid back and fun to be around , but chances are i'll lead you to believe something that's not true because i'm a compulsive liar , and i obviously just like to fuck around with people . i have to admit , i will hold pills above everyone , i will cheat , lie , and fight for drugs , and if you try to stop that , or is offended by it , then screw you , because that's not going to change . i'm very outgoing , and if you talk to me i'll talk to you . i usually talk back and if you tell me to do something , chances are i'll never get around to it , nor feel guilty when you yell at me for it . i act like i could care less but really , what people say effects everyone and waking up every morning being told your a monster eventually starts to burn . although i don't sow my emotions on my face , or even in my words , i'm not made out of a stone , and i do break easily , and all those bottled up emotions might possibly be the reason for why i have such anger issues . but i'm not going to open up easily , nor listen or love . so to get into my life , you're going to have to be pretty damn special . "
TELL US ABOUT YOUR PAST.
[/size][/font]"well , i was born and raised in good 'ol New York city . my mom jillian rae jackson , and my father dennis green sandford had just gotten divorced from eachother a week before my birth . apparently my mom had picked up an unhealthy drinking habit , even while i was in her womb , and my father thought it was bs that she 'couldn't stop' so he decided to leave her , and take me with him after my birth . my mother , on the other hand , disagreed . after my birth she checked me out of the hospital , said the father had left , and ran away with me to Tenessee , where her brother , martin lived with his two sons . we lived there for like a month , martin raising me while my mom was out every night , drinking i presume . i grew up thinking i had no father , and soon , martin , growing of old age , had a heart attack and passed away . his two sons were both only around twenty years of age , and neither were ready to take care of a child , but they no longer lived in uncle martin's house with us . my mom was gone , had been for about a month , and her location was unknown . not knowing what to do with me , Martin's sons gave me up to the best adoption agency they knew of , the one their grandmother had grown up in . mom had told them i had no father , and they couldn't just change their lives to fit me conveniantly inbetween it . so , when i was 7 , i left to go live in an orphanage . i was the oldest , most of the older kids were adopted , and the last of them , twelve years of age , had just been taken into custody about a hour before my arrival . the little kids on the other hand had some temper issues , and they fought , bit , and broke stuff . so , i fit in nicely , filled with anger about my mom , and my cousins . i'd always had the illusions , though they were never quite as bad before as they were now , now , i think they'd fully developed into actual monsters . i felt them as if they were actually touching me . but none of them mean't good . when they came they usually were frightening , and disturbing , half of them resembling my mother , but with claws , or tails and such . they'd come and burn me , or claw my wrists , and face . the adoption agency was frightened , they expected that i was just angry . they told me i'd done it to myself , but i didn't think so . so , they started giving me anger pills , they were supposed to calm down my nervous system , or something . but , i soon became addicted . i liked to show off to the other kids how i could dry-swallow pills , and before i knew it , i was showing off 7 times a day , which later progressed to 14 -21-32 . i usually passed out , they'd paralyze me for about 6 hours . but i liked that , it gave me time to think . pretty soon i was faking illness's everyday to get a hold of more pills . but the illusions still came , and i'd apparently mistaken one of the fellow orphans for my mother one time , and ripped out a lock of hair from their head in anger . that's when i got the physciatrist . i was thirteen . all the other kids were frightened of me . i remember coming out of the physciatrists office and smiling evily to all the younger kids . they'd all back up against the wall and i'd absentmindedly walk by , and anyone who dared to look at me the wrong way , or even touch me would get beaten . you could say i went a little mad with power . but , it could've also been the pills . this pattern followed till i turned eighteen , then the agency decided i was a threat to put out in the real world , so they sent me here , to the institution to be 'cured ' . so you tell me , i'm normal , right ? "
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE?
[/size][/font]"in first person, tell us if there is anything else we should know about you that will help us help you here at the asylum. this is optional and has no word count."
THE MASTERMIND BEHIND IT ALL.
[/size][/font]hey, my name is HAILEY.[/color] i have THREEZILLION[/color] tracks spinning on my record. this is my SECOND[/color] character. i have been roleplaying for THREE YEARS[/color]. the password is "poison, inject me silicon and saline "[/color].[/font][/size]
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please put a roleplaying sample here. it should be over our word count but shouldn't be too long. just your average post is fine. no fancy coding, just the post.
