Post by kristina on Jan 3, 2010 21:36:25 GMT -5
KRISTINA ADDISON CHANNING.
[/size]
* FEELS JUST LIKE WE'RE LOSING CONTROL.
and if you let go, then i'll let go tonight.[/center]
TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF.
"the name is kristina addison channing. i would prefer that you call me kris, addi or addison. i hate kristina, tina or channing. i was born on august ninth, nineteen eighty nine. thats right. makes me twenty years old. hell yeah. im a female and im not afraid to prove it. im a high school graduate but im not in college. fuck that. i'd rather party. well, i will once i get out of this hell hole. i go for the guys and thats all i go for; but i do kiss my friends' cheeks from time to time. people say i look like valary dibenedetto but lets me honest for a second; she is way prettier then me. i love to dye my hair. one month i dyed it three different times. black, blond then dark brown. its just my way or reflecting me. my hair may change but i never will. i am a very petite girl but that doesn't mean im weak. i weigh about a hundred and twenty or so and im about five foot six. yeah. pretty damn short huh? get the fuck over it. im not much for make up but i wear it whenever i feel like impressing people which is very rare. im gorgeous without it and there is no use in trying to deny it."
TELL US ABOUT YOUR MEDICAL HISTORY.
[/size][/font]"my medical history? damn. why dont you just fucking check on my records. saves me and ya'll both the trouble and time. if you must know, though, i am clairvoyant. you dont know what that means? man, ya'll some dumb ass nosy bastards arent ya? well, it means i see and hear things. like one second i will be completely and calm and the next ill be seeing the easter bunny or something trying to bite this kid's head off. logically it means that if you are clairvoyant you see beyond the five senses, but i guess you can say my mix in with hallucinations. pretty freaky huh? i also hear things that arent being said at times too. like one time i was in the kitchen with my mom and i heard this voice tell me to kill her. grab the knife, walk up to her and just knife her in the stomach. kill the unborn baby inside of her. did i do it? naw. i just went crazy and told the voices to shut up; just shut up. its all i can do. lets face it - i cant be cured. you cant larn to block out these voices either. they're in your head - they'll always be there whether you like it or not.
in addition to my mentral issue that drives me insane i also self harm. yeah, im not proud of it but its something ive done for a while now. i started because of my history. i havent had a good past. the cuts help relives the pressue and problems i have and helps me forget about what has happened to me, forget my problems and feel no stress. yeah, thats how it helps me. im not glad that i do it. yeah, i know im a damn bad influence on my younger sister and brother for being this way and but i cant help it. i am the way i am. sorry. my mom walked in on my slashing my wrist open once. i immediately stopped cutting on my wrists and started on my thighs. my secret lasted for a while too until my boyfriend at the time decided we should go at it. yeah, i was up for it until i remember about the cuts on my thighs. i had to drop my pants and show him what i did. i think the guy that i was dating then which is my ex boyfriend now also helped put me in this place. im going to slash his throat when i get out. yeah, i have a bit of anger issues. get over it, okay?"
HOW CAN WE ACCOMODATE YOU BETTER?
[/size][/font]"what is my personality like? bitch. party girl. wild. crazy. slit your throat you say the wrong thing. im pretty much it all. i can be sweet when i want but for the most part im a down right bitch. im sarcastic, an extrovert and honest. dont take it personally if i call you a bitch or a bastard. i always call people that - even my brothers, sisters and parents. well, what do i like? hm. i like gory movies, horror movies, movies about the paranormal, comedy movies, parties, drinking, being a rebel, laughing, having a good time, jack daniels, my friends, hard rock, metal core, grunge, concerts, cake, ice cream, social gatherings, having fun, dogs, cats, horses, ducks, my phone, fighting, talking, make-up whenever i want it, sleeping in, saying no, debating, arguing, screaming, yelling, being strong, having people fear me. you know, just the usual. what i dont like? pussies, wimps, prostitutes, liars, street trash, whores, party crashers, romantic movies, crying, being weak, love songs[or so i say], being yelled at, authority, this place, my history, my family, snakes, mice, lizards, having things taken from me, being broke. like i said; the usual things. my fears? shit, i have no fears. well, okay. im scared of hospitals. im scared my real dad will come after me. im scared to be in love. im scared to actually try and settle down. im scared of being used. im scared of dying young. im scared of losing people close to me. im scared to let people in. normal fears that consist of love, death and losing things. im not good at like.. playing the guitar, saying yes, walking in a straight line, during down an offer of an alcoholic drink, playing sweet, acting innocent and acting like im completely sane when everyone knows im far from that. im damn good at flirting, having a good time, throwing parties, dancing, screaming[as in musical wise], fighting, throwing a good punch, trashing people, bringing people down. yeah, im pretty damn good. my secrets? well, i was abused by my step-father. my mom was a drug addict and got me started. my mom was tossed in jail for so called "kidnapping me" and then i got my dad locked up for battery when he never hurt me. my mom was a prostitute - it was how me and my two younger sisters came along. yeah, im pretty messed up huh? but i like myself this way. dont you dare try and change me. it wont happen. i have walls up as high as the sky. they're never falling down, baby. never."
TELL US ABOUT YOUR PAST.
[/size][/font]"well, dont expect me to know what happened before i was born. all i know was that mom was a whore, dad loved her. they slept together and nine months later out i came. now, here's the fun part. i get to talk about my life. well, mom and dad were married for like.. six months. shortest marriage ive known to this day. they split up because they just didn't match each others personalities and what they looked for in a person. dad wanted to settle down hard core; mom didn't. she wanted to party; he wanted to stay home. he wanted her to be a mother; she could care less. see what im saying? well, mom finally settled down and married this tyler guy. tyler alexander channing to be exact. well, when i was three ty became an alcoholic while mom started up on drugs after giving up on her whorish ways. life is a fairytale so far, ey? i hope you caught the sarcasm in there. anyways. well, my step dad started abusing me. i mean like.. hard core abuse. he'd give me black eyes, cuts, bruises, things like that. he never sexually abused me. just physically. when i was seven mom started popping babies like she popped pills. i was an older sister to daphnie and danielle at seven, damien at nine, colby at ten and tyler jr at thirteen. my mom was some whore to be sleeping with one guy. my siblings never got abused. oh no. they were like fucking angels to my damn mom and step dad. they worshipped the ground that my siblings fucking stepped on for fucking pete's sake. it was so damn insane. so there it was. me, kristina addison channing as their first child. daphne marie and danielle alanna channing as their second and third. damien jacob channing as their fourth. colby allen channing at their fifth. tyler daemon channing jr as their sixth. six kids and two parents living in one house. it's like jon and kate plus eight just without two of the kids! and the parents are still together and the dad didn't sleep with the fucking maid. or was it the nanny? oh who gives a damn. this is my life. not theirs.
well, i started hanging with the wrong crowd at fourteen. i started drinking and smoking; the saddest thing is that my mom had me starting drugs. well, i couldn't handle my life at their place anymore so i moved in with my dad. not even six weeks later i started putting bruises and cuts on myself. thats right. thats when i started self harming. well, my mom came and got me. dad had her locked up for "kidnapping". as soon as she got out, they took me back and my dad got locked up for assault on a minor. my step-dad, when i arrived home, didn't give me one big hug. instead he knocked my up side the face with his fist, screaming at me because i left. thats when all these voices came in to play and i started seeing things. i hate it. i hate him. i hate my life. as i entered high school my life only got worse. thats when i met a guy that is now my closest thing to a friend. shaun. he was like... the only guy that understood me. him and his friends kind of took me in as one of the guys. when i needed a place to stay they gave it to me. when i needed a drink or a smoke they handed it over without a second thought. they were kind of like the family i never truly had. the only thing was that two of the guys were five years older, one was three and the other was two. shaun was three years older than me. how did i meet them? cat fight at a bar once. took up for me and took me out of the bar. i woke up at their place where they had ice on my bruises and some kind of bandage on my cuts. pretty fucking awesome guys if you ask me. i only started falling for one of them - shaun. now, when i say falling i mean flirting. i lost my virginity to him - big freaking deal. i lost it when my cuts were still healing. haha. they were the family i never had. they never knew about my self harm or my clairvoyance. they thought the cuts on my thighs came from the cat fight since i was wearing shorts. well, thats when i got this boyfriend. he decided he wanted to go all the way. i remembered the cuts, told him no and had to drop my pants to tell him why. he knew about my self harm.
well, im twenty now and ive landed myself int his hell hole. the guys were right - this place does try to drain your soul. i miss my guys. like, really miss them. i bet my ex boyfriend and my family got me put in this place. i want out of here so bad. oh, did i mention that i graduated high school, started college but dropped out? yeah. college is just so useless. why learn things when you can party, dance, and scream your heart out for music? hell its what i do and im doing just fine. at least... for the most part i am. i still self harm, i still do drugs, i still drink, i still hallucinate, i still hear things. but im uncurable. deal with it. i guess i can mention a few more things. im from chicago, illinois. i have five younger siblings. i hate my parents. growing up? it was hell."
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE?
[/size][/font]"i don't need help. i was doing perfectly fine until my mom and some other folks tossed in to this fucked up place. i mean really; no one ever leaves here a better person! ive been to an asylum before and they're all the same; they take away the things you love and refuse to give you access to the outside world in order to drive you completely insane so that you do end up staying here longer. i dont belong here. marijuana and cocaine arent bad things. hell, they're wonderful things! im not crazy. im not insane. i dont need help. dont people get that? and sure, maybe i do a little self harm along the way. can you blame me? people locking me up in here gets me depressed."
THE MASTERMIND BEHIND IT ALL.
[/size][/font]hey, my name is bee.[/color] i have thirteen[/color] tracks spinning on my record. this is my first[/color] character. i have been roleplaying for three years[/color]. the password is poison, inject me; silicone and saline.[/color].[/font][/size]
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify]
Aubree was beyond pissed and it was written clearly across her face as she sat at the computer in the public library. How could he honestly be saying that it was mostly her fault? She knew she was the main reason for the whole thing and she fully understood that. She was beginning to calm down and her muscles relaxed more when her pimp Daemon messaged her, telling her to not let Demitri upset her. She had pulled herself out of the public chat room for the most part, watching as the two men argued over things; Aubree dropped a couple of words in every so often by for the most part didn’t even attempt to stop it after the first couple of tries – it was obvious they would stop whenever they felt satisfied with their selves or where someone just got too tired of the same old bull shit and decided not to respond back. Aubree had already considered logging out when Demitri messaged her and started talking to her about things such as why she was denying her feelings for him and everything along the line of that sort. What he said to her after a while, though – it surprised Aubree to where her mouth actually dropped – of course, she should have been expecting him to say it sooner or layer. She would have preferred later though, since she was only eighteen – she wish he could have waited until she was maybe twenty or something. But at this young it shocked her.
Marriage; hell, Aubree was only eighteen years old. Before Demitri even the thought of marriage, child and settling down really did scare the living hell out of the poor girl. Now that did not mean she was ready to pop a ring on her finger right now since he was back in her life and run off with a different last name a couple months later. Yes, she loved Demitri and she still did and she knew that she would always love him no matter what happened between them. Demitri was not the kind of guy that you stumbled across in your every day life – he was the rare kind and you had to grab them before they were gone. He was the type of guy that didn’t care most about sex in the relationship and actually enjoys cuddling since most men don’t, or at least wouldn’t admit to it and would rather make out or be intimate. But despite being in love with him she just could not marry him. If she did, who would walk her down the aisle? Her father and she did not keep any contact what so ever and she knew none of her guy friends would do it. To be honest, the thought of marriage and all still scared the shit out of Bree but not as much as it did before. Sure, she could see her self settling down in the future. Well, when she wasn’t a prostitute, wasn’t living in Detroit and actually had a stable home and establish a good relationship with her family. They continued talking, those two simple words playing through her mind like a cd on repeat. “Marry me”. Of course, he had said it in the middle of a sentence but all she could remember were those two words. She finally accepted coming over but told him to send a cab rather then him ride over himself. She would have loved for him to pick her up, but she had no idea who might possibly spot her and she just was not willing to risk it right now.
She closed out of her instant messaging window and signed off, standing up and walking to the library door. A couple people waved a good-bye and she smiled, waving back before walking out the door. The cab was already outside waiting for her and she climbed in, smiling slightly at the cab driver before shutting the door and him driving off. It had been a while since the last time Aubree had visited Demitri’s house and she was not sure if he still stayed at the same place or not. It felt like it was taking forever before the cab driver finally stopped, telling her this was the place. She smiled and stepped out, closing the door and standing there for a second. Her heart was pounding so hard and fast she was actually thinking that it might just pound right out of her chest. She hadn’t seen Demitri without someone around since he got back and this would be their first time alone together after not being able to see each other for a long time. Sure, she was thrilled to see him and couldn’t wait to step inside and find herself wrapped up in his arms like she had been waiting for. But to be honest she was scared to see him at the same time. How would he react? Would he welcome her as a friend, an enemy or as his girlfriend that he wanted her to desperately to be once again? Would it be awkward or completely comfortable for the two? She didn’t know what was going to happen between them. They only had a couple hours together and Aubree intended to devote them to Demitri and him only. She was not going to let anything ruin this – not her thoughts, her nerves or her words. She would think things through before saying them and she’d just follow her heart.
She stepped up and knocked on the door, putting her hand back down by her side. It was only a few seconds before the door swung open and immediately her lover wrapped his strong arms around her, bringing her in to his warm embrace. Her entire body tingled under his touch and she wrapped her arms around his chest, burying her face in to his chest and closing her eyes. Her worries about someone spotting her with Demitri were completely erased from her mind. He was warm, a good feeling against her cold skin thanks to the freezing Detroit air. Before she could register what had happened he had already shut the door with him foot and was walking toward his bed room. She looked down, realizing he had lifted her bridal style in to his strong arms. Another thing she noticed as well was that he was, in fact, almost completely undressed. The only piece of clothing that he was wearing was boxers – something Aubree didn’t mind at all. She sat down on the edge of his bed, hugging her gently to his chest. She closed her eyes, staying caught up in the moment and wrapped her arms around his neck, letting him just hold her there. She felt him press his lips to her hair and she heard him mumble those three words she had heard him say so many times before. Despite her hearing the words come from his lips before, though, her heart froze. She wanted so desperately to say them back; to say them here, in person. She had said it over message – why was it so damn hard for her to say it now, here, in front of him so that maybe he could really believe her?
She leaned away from him slightly, twisting her body so that she could face him. She stared in to his eyes for a second before leaning forward, delicately placing her soft lips on his. She felt her stomach twist and turn – she had waited so long to do this again; to let him hold her and kiss him without a care in the world. She had missed him so badly that it hurt; physically, emotionally and mentally. She had been an emotional wreck when he left, and she had just started coming out of it when he came back. After a second or two she pulled back, biting her lip in the cutest way. I love you too… she said before leaning her head down slightly and resting against his chest. Her gaze drifted from one tattoo to the next, the way she had done before he left whenever they were together. She lifted her hand and took his, holding her palm flat against his as if comparing sizes. She then intertwined her fingers, holding his hand tightly but also gently enough to where he could pull his hand free if he wanted to. She kept her gaze fixed on their hands, but her lips parted as she spoke. Demi… she whispered his name, afraid to even ask the question. But she knew now that she had his attention he needed to finish her sentance. why do you love me? she asked. It was one of the hardest questions to ever answer, but she needed to know.
Marriage; hell, Aubree was only eighteen years old. Before Demitri even the thought of marriage, child and settling down really did scare the living hell out of the poor girl. Now that did not mean she was ready to pop a ring on her finger right now since he was back in her life and run off with a different last name a couple months later. Yes, she loved Demitri and she still did and she knew that she would always love him no matter what happened between them. Demitri was not the kind of guy that you stumbled across in your every day life – he was the rare kind and you had to grab them before they were gone. He was the type of guy that didn’t care most about sex in the relationship and actually enjoys cuddling since most men don’t, or at least wouldn’t admit to it and would rather make out or be intimate. But despite being in love with him she just could not marry him. If she did, who would walk her down the aisle? Her father and she did not keep any contact what so ever and she knew none of her guy friends would do it. To be honest, the thought of marriage and all still scared the shit out of Bree but not as much as it did before. Sure, she could see her self settling down in the future. Well, when she wasn’t a prostitute, wasn’t living in Detroit and actually had a stable home and establish a good relationship with her family. They continued talking, those two simple words playing through her mind like a cd on repeat. “Marry me”. Of course, he had said it in the middle of a sentence but all she could remember were those two words. She finally accepted coming over but told him to send a cab rather then him ride over himself. She would have loved for him to pick her up, but she had no idea who might possibly spot her and she just was not willing to risk it right now.
She closed out of her instant messaging window and signed off, standing up and walking to the library door. A couple people waved a good-bye and she smiled, waving back before walking out the door. The cab was already outside waiting for her and she climbed in, smiling slightly at the cab driver before shutting the door and him driving off. It had been a while since the last time Aubree had visited Demitri’s house and she was not sure if he still stayed at the same place or not. It felt like it was taking forever before the cab driver finally stopped, telling her this was the place. She smiled and stepped out, closing the door and standing there for a second. Her heart was pounding so hard and fast she was actually thinking that it might just pound right out of her chest. She hadn’t seen Demitri without someone around since he got back and this would be their first time alone together after not being able to see each other for a long time. Sure, she was thrilled to see him and couldn’t wait to step inside and find herself wrapped up in his arms like she had been waiting for. But to be honest she was scared to see him at the same time. How would he react? Would he welcome her as a friend, an enemy or as his girlfriend that he wanted her to desperately to be once again? Would it be awkward or completely comfortable for the two? She didn’t know what was going to happen between them. They only had a couple hours together and Aubree intended to devote them to Demitri and him only. She was not going to let anything ruin this – not her thoughts, her nerves or her words. She would think things through before saying them and she’d just follow her heart.
She stepped up and knocked on the door, putting her hand back down by her side. It was only a few seconds before the door swung open and immediately her lover wrapped his strong arms around her, bringing her in to his warm embrace. Her entire body tingled under his touch and she wrapped her arms around his chest, burying her face in to his chest and closing her eyes. Her worries about someone spotting her with Demitri were completely erased from her mind. He was warm, a good feeling against her cold skin thanks to the freezing Detroit air. Before she could register what had happened he had already shut the door with him foot and was walking toward his bed room. She looked down, realizing he had lifted her bridal style in to his strong arms. Another thing she noticed as well was that he was, in fact, almost completely undressed. The only piece of clothing that he was wearing was boxers – something Aubree didn’t mind at all. She sat down on the edge of his bed, hugging her gently to his chest. She closed her eyes, staying caught up in the moment and wrapped her arms around his neck, letting him just hold her there. She felt him press his lips to her hair and she heard him mumble those three words she had heard him say so many times before. Despite her hearing the words come from his lips before, though, her heart froze. She wanted so desperately to say them back; to say them here, in person. She had said it over message – why was it so damn hard for her to say it now, here, in front of him so that maybe he could really believe her?
She leaned away from him slightly, twisting her body so that she could face him. She stared in to his eyes for a second before leaning forward, delicately placing her soft lips on his. She felt her stomach twist and turn – she had waited so long to do this again; to let him hold her and kiss him without a care in the world. She had missed him so badly that it hurt; physically, emotionally and mentally. She had been an emotional wreck when he left, and she had just started coming out of it when he came back. After a second or two she pulled back, biting her lip in the cutest way. I love you too… she said before leaning her head down slightly and resting against his chest. Her gaze drifted from one tattoo to the next, the way she had done before he left whenever they were together. She lifted her hand and took his, holding her palm flat against his as if comparing sizes. She then intertwined her fingers, holding his hand tightly but also gently enough to where he could pull his hand free if he wanted to. She kept her gaze fixed on their hands, but her lips parted as she spoke. Demi… she whispered his name, afraid to even ask the question. But she knew now that she had his attention he needed to finish her sentance. why do you love me? she asked. It was one of the hardest questions to ever answer, but she needed to know.
