Post by hailey on Jan 3, 2010 21:59:36 GMT -5
JERICHO GREY MAZZUCCO.
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* FEELS JUST LIKE WE'RE LOSING CONTROL.
and if you let go, then i'll let go tonight.[/center]
TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF.
"well , you're lucky i'm one of the more tolerable patients here . did you hear about that one girl that jumped across the table to strangle that one staff worker ? crazy shit , i know . that's why i really don't think i belong here . but whatever , i'll deal . so basically , my name is jericho . but alot of people call me 'stitch' or 'scar' because of the stitches and scars around my eyes . not exactly flattering nicknames , i know , but they're fun all the same . it's sort of like once your officially named , you're part of the asylum . i guess people find my appearance frightening , so they tend to think alot about me . but really , i'm only in here for harming myself . i wouldn't hurt a fly . i'm turning nineteen this fall , and i like to be respected as an adult , even if alot of people think of me as a cripple . i'm really not , and i don't appreciate it . i'm officially an adult in this world , and i just needed a little help to get through . i'm straight but there was in fact a time i dated girls . i'm pretty positive it was just a bicurious year though . it was a rather good experiance though , if i do say so myself . but guys are my main interest . alot of people say i look like jac vanek but damn , i just don't see it . hah , get it ? no . that's fine then . i have a lot of scarring and tears around my eyes from my incident . the reason i'm in here . i used to have very pretty eyes , but they're too damaged now . i do remember having blonde hair though , and unless i dye it , i'm pretty sure it's going to stay that way . i'm super-pale , which unfortunatly for me , alot of people say adds to the creepy 'no eyes' dealio . i'm a monster around here i suppose , but i'm really about the calmest one you'll meet . i do too much thinking to worry about beating people . i just don't understand how i'm a threat . am i ?"
TELL US ABOUT YOUR MEDICAL HISTORY.
[/size][/font]" well , as ashamed as i am to have to share this , i get this question alot . i suffered from extreme depression after my mother died , and i partially took credit for her death . so , i thought of myself as a murderer , and i didn't want to see myself anymore after that . i struggled to remember my mother's face also , so i decided that if i didn't see anything else , i wouldn't forget anything so my brain wouldn't have to clear memories to make room for new ones , right ? well , after i spent an entire sunday afternoon attempting to claw my eyes out , i realized it wasn't as easy as it sounded . i'd corrupted myself into believing the drunk driver that hit my mother was my fault , and now i was ruining all my chances at going back to normal . i passed out from the pain after i'd scratched my eye balls so badley i could not see , and my dad found me the next morning . after stitching up the clawed facial damage , and attempting to reconstruct the profile i'd so horribly disorganized , they told me that the scars would probably not go away . if they did it'd be a miracle , and it wouldn't be for a very long time . the sight damage is not able to be redeemed though , and so i no longer have the sense of sight . i'm getting used to it though , and i'm finally starting to realize how much if a blessing this really was . without eyesight , judging isn't a natural born sense , and since i can't see anything , i don't worry about missing out on such silly things as the grand canyon , and other visual illusions . i no longer care for those , i'm just happy i'm... well , happy ."
HOW CAN WE ACCOMODATE YOU BETTER?
[/size][/font]"well , personality is everything . you could say i'm one of those annoying myspace whores that goes on and on about the morlas i believe in , and how peace in the world is something i'd want to happen more then anything , but won't work out worth a shit . you could also say i have alot to say . independance is the one thing i rely on more then anything or anyone else . you were born in this world on your own , and you die on your own . prove me wrong , and i'll hold on to you for an eternity , in life or death . i have many beliefs that people find incredibly odd , like , for example , i'm buddhist , but i believe in a heaven instead of an after-life , and in this heaven there is no controling god , and it's similiar to the purgatory the girl in lovely bones goes through . everyone says my strategies make no sense , and my religious beliefs make less sense . but that's ok , i'm a fairley confusing person . alot of people find me bipolar , but i'm not , i just have a lot of moods , but they don't change constantly , it's sort of like i experiance them all at the same time , if that made any sense at all . i enjoy writing music even though i wouldn't ever sing it , writing , and anything theatrical gets me going . photography is my life , and editing photography is a challenge i have yet to fail at . if you know me , you'll understand i don't give up easily . i'm patient , yes , shy , yes , and cautious , oh yes . the complete opposite of who i used to be . but after my mothers death i find i can't be who i used to be . i basically have few needs or wants anymore , and i'm usually fairly content with being alone . really , that's all i want , is to be alone . to mourn my sister , my father , and most of all my mother . i miss them terribly , but i'm stubborn and i know i can make it through this alive , so i'm working on that . but although i seem content , i find myself growing more and more impatient in this place , it gives me the shivers , and i get agitated alot more then i normally have would . but i'm usually a fairly fun person to be around , i'm just a little quiet at first .
i have a unique style , but everyone's unique in their own way , i just show mine a little more . i like color , tim burton films (nightmare before christmas being my all time favorite) , claymation (coraline's amazing) , photography , animals , the rain , autumn , hair styling , long hair , pain , i get alot of comments on pain . i do enjoy inflicting pain upon myself , why ? i'm not sure . i guess it doesn't bother me as much anymore after the whole visual cut off i got from my last violent intercouse . i think i'm slowly going crazy being in this place . can you catch insane ? because i'm starting to think i am . and more and more i regret all my past situations . although i like movies , i can never watch them the same , color , it's beautiful , but i can no longer see it , autumn, the pretty colors are just black for me , photography , i still take , but i can't proudley look at them anymore , animals , well , they're always there , rain , i can hear but not see , you see how this is going right ? everything i once loved has been gouged out of my life with my eye-sight and slowly i'm fading away into the crazy physco next door . it's not something i want to happen , and i'm starting to wonder if i'm not in here for anything else ? but i know one thing , if you can help me through this , and avoid calling me 'special' or 'cripple' and letting me individually take care of myself , i think we could like eachother . but i don't let people in very easily because it hurts too much to lose them . so don't 'try' to be my friend . just talk to me , and let it happen .
TELL US ABOUT YOUR PAST.
[/size][/font]"well , i was born on a beautiful october morning . october 15th to be exact . and in case you were wondering , i was a bunny rabbit for my first halloween . but anyways , my mother and me were closer then most mother and daughter . i didn't have a father , he left my mother before i was born , and didn't want anything to do with us . which , was fine in my case, i didn't particularly want him in my life in the first place . but , me and my mom grew up together until she was diagnosed with cancer when i turned 12 . because of this , i had a few suicidal attemps , and i began to hang out with the wrong crowd of people . i was angry at my mom for being sick , which wasn't fair in any circumstances , but at the time i was just angry . so , to piss my mother off , i began drugs . i smoked alot , and after a while , the depression caught up with me and i began to cut .
my mother was heartbroken , and because of this , she decided she needed to look for my father to help with me . whether it be money to buy me therapy , or just a helping hand around the house . well , she found him in an old phone book and he came to good 'ol chicago where i was born and raised . and , i actually bonded with him . i trusted him and i think that hurt my mother more then any trouble i could get into . was that i hated her , and loved my father . the same man that had abandoned us all these years . but just his presence , knowing that someone cared , helped me insanely . although i still smoked , the cutting began to wear itself down , and then one day i opened the cabinet and the razor was gone , but , i didn't care . it was just the cold turkey effect i needed to break through the boundary .
then , one night , i realized , my mom was going to die, and my dad was moving back with his wife and two kids in los angelas tomorrow , and , i was staying behind . he said he wasn't going to take me in . a month in chicago with me had been enough and altough he loved me he couldn't handle a fucked up teenager . the cutting began once more , and my mom became insanely worried . she was going out to get medication , when i got the call . one , nobody should ever have to recieve .
my mother had been hit by a drunk driver crossing the street to the drug store . she was dead . the cancer hadn't gotten to her but the truck sure as hell had . i always knew she was going to die . but i expected it to be from lukemia , not a man who'd had a few too many . when i got back from the funeral two nights later , i immediatly began tearing and scratching at my eyes . it was my fault , my insanity that killed my mother , and i never wanted to see this pain and suffering ever again . i continuosly razored , and scratched and pulled at my eyes till the pain was so horrible i fell unconcious . my dad was here to take me to the asylum the next morning , and found me laying on the ground . after rushing me to the hospital they stitched me up and clarified that i would never have my sight back , but that i would sure as hell need a lot of therapy . although i have scars and stitches around my eyes , my eyeballs were fixed rather well , with only a few scratches . so , my eyes still look normal . i'm not unable to see , and my eye-lids are very horribly damaged . and then , i ended up in this hell-hole .
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE?
[/size][/font]"i'm independant ."
THE MASTERMIND BEHIND IT ALL.
[/size][/font]hey, my name is HAILEY.[/color] i have A BILLION[/color] tracks spinning on my record. this is my THIRD[/color] character. i have been roleplaying for THREE YEARS[/color]. the password is SILICONE , SALIN , POISON , INJECT ME .[/color].[/font][/size]
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DON'T GOTTUH (:.
